You Might Be a Redneck Jedi If...

Feel free to add your own jokes, but do keep in mind that Elftowners can be as young as 13. Try to keep it PG.

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You might be a Redneck Jedi if you mow your lawn and find a band of Tuscan Raiders.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if your back is hairier than your Wookiee's.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if your belt buckle reads, "You'll get my lightsaber when you pry it from my cold dead hand."

You might be a Redneck Jedi if your old speeder is on blocks in the front yard.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if the bumper sticker on your speeder reads, "My Padawan kicked your honor student's ass."

You might be a Redneck Jedi if, to piss off your boyfriend, you kiss your brother. (See Return of the Jedi for reference.)

You might be a Redneck Jedi if, when your R2 dome droid blows up, you just slap some Duct Tape on him.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you regularly open your beer with your lightsaber.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you go to a jungle planet on a diplomatic mission and come back with 63 pounds of fresh meat.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you can't describe the taste of an Ewok without using the word "Chicken".

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you call Yoda "my little, green buddy."

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you can't find any grammatical errors in Yoda's sayings.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you have a beer-can opener at the end of your lightsaber.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if Wookiees are offended by your B.O.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you used your best Force repulsion skills to fend off the tornado, but the tornado still laid waste to your trailer park, anyway.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you pass gas and think it was part of the Force.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you refer to the Jedi High Council as "all ya'll".

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you distill whiskey in the evaporators.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you Force Jump by using your own farts.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if your lightsaber doubles as a bug zapper.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if the only galactic beast you haven't stayed on top of for eight seconds is a rancor.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you brew your own "That's No Moon"-shine.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if the man who's trying to kill you turns out to be your long-lost father.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you can converse with Jar-Jar Binks perfectly when you’re drunk, which is often.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if your house has so many robot parts lying around it resembles a junkyard.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you bulls-eye wamprats in your T-16 for fun.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you were raised by your aunt and uncle and have no idea where your parents are.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if, instead of getting a job, you join the rebellion.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if your hair is often worn buzzed in the front with a short pony tail in back.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you refer to general Palpatine as ‘Pappy’.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if, when someone you don’t understand yells at your companion, instead of asking questions, you cut off his hand.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you think Jedi is short for Jebediah.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you have fantasized about your sister...more than once.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you love pod racers because it's easy to follow when hammered. (Look, another left turn!)

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you have Ewok heads mounted on your walls.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you camouflaged your speeder.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if your ceremonial robes aren't complete without a blaze orange hat covered in trophy pins.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if your droid regularly downloads holograms of the Bass Pro Challenge.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you activate your lightsaber by holding it near your crotch while you say, "The South will rise again."

You might be a Redneck Jedi if your translator droid is fluent in Cajun just so it can translate for you.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you think the dark side is the back of the fridge.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you refer to your mother-in-law as Jabba's sister.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if, nine months after meeting the princess of Alderon, you and your best friend are dispatched to a paternity civil case on Tatooine.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you have to hold the hatches and airlocks of your rustbucket Millenium Ford-Falcon in place with catgut and duct tape (since dental floss is unheard of).

You might be a Redneck Jedi if all you know of the political landscape comes from Red Fox News.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you and your friends are forced to move to Hoth and you declare a "Snow Day"

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you have to build an extra room to showoff your rancor head trophy.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you reunite with your missing human mama when your doting "Wookiee foster mom" shaves her body (it was human mom, all along!)

You might be a Redneck Jedi if your Gungan foster child is kept in line with a leash and a "Jar Jar Binky" pacifier, despite being near puberty.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if

You might be a Redneck Jedi if

You might be a Redneck Jedi if

You might be a Redneck Jedi if

You might be a Redneck Jedi if